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kittylitter:

emagic:

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that “to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait.”

“After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

As to whether Mr. Jonas’ bride agreed with his “that’s it?” assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, “That’s what she said.

via

kittylitter:

The two morons behind that terrible “Balloon Boy” stunt are finally going to have to pay the price for all of their dumbassery — a cool $42,000.

[via]

kittylitter:

Rapper T.I. was released from prison in Arkansas today after serving seven months behind bars — and the rapper’s lawyer says he’ll spend the rest of his sentence living in a halfway house. After his sentence is completed, T.I. still has to complete 500 hours of community service and 23 days of home incarceration.

[via]